Hallelujah
by Kamarine
Summary: Songfic. Song Hallelujah - Rufus WainrightJeff Buckley. How Squall changed throughout the game from others Points of View.


Squall crossed the room quickly as he closed the gap between him and the young Cadet. Squall held out his hand and tilted an eyebrow slightly. The child sighed and pulled the hidden earphones out of his ears. Slowly he wrapped the cords around the small disc player and handed it begrudgingly to Squall. He pocketed it in a swift motion before he resumed his place at the front of the class. The cadets were in the middle of their SeeD examinations; Squall Leonhart and Selphie Tilmitt were the one's who supervised for this period. Squall because he was the Commander of Garden and he oversaw the whole process and Selphie because she was a fully-fledged SeeD member. It was written in Garden By-Laws that two SeeD's must be present through out the Examinations; The Commander and a SeeD member who was not an Instructor. 

Selphie turned her elfish face towards Squall as she appraised him. He had an expression that could almost be considered bored across his features, but Selphie knew better. His expression was blank, blank of emotion and devoid of any traces of his thought. As she thought about it, Squall could be bored. Bored with life, with SeeD, with being the Commander and possibly with Rinoa. But nobody could tell as his expression was always guarded.  It was as if he trusted nobody and wished to let nobody in. As Selphie ran her fingers through her short shiny locks she thought about Rinoa's influence on Squall. 

In the few short months Rinoa Heartilly had known Squall, she'd changed him almost dramatically. He spoke more and sometimes let others know what he was thinking. Almost all the time, Rinoa knew what was going on in his mind. 

A cheeky grin crept across Selphie's face as she thought about how cute the two were together. In her mind, she knew there was no other couple so perfect for each other. With the exception of her and Irvine Kinneas of course. Selphie giggled softly as remembered what Squall had said last night when she'd asked him if he thought her and Irvine to be cute.

A sullen glance from Squall hushed her giggles as Selphie turned her focus back to the cadets. They were in examinations, right. She had to pay attention or there would be trouble!

A little while later, Selphie's gaze crept back to Squall as she watched him sit so patiently as his eyes scanned the classroom. Always a stickler for duty, it was admirable and Selphie couldn't think of anyone better to be Commander of Balamb Garden. That aside, she still believed he needed much more softening from Rinoa.

When the examinations were finished, Squall firmly ordered them to send their answers to his computer. They did so without hesitation, all the cadets had learnt not to cross the Commander. He was ruthless and unbending, a little stiffer than half of the instructors. 

Slowly and with much care and precision, Squall began to announce the results of the written exam in alphabetical order. Selphie had to admire his work ethics once again. He may be married to his job, but he sure as hell did a great job. 

Selphie felt a slight pang of guilt as she thought of Headmaster Cid and Matron. They did a good job, an excellent job at that. But they had been somewhat softer than Squall was. When she thought about it, Selphie realized how different Squall was to Cid for the fifth time that day. 

Squall was indeed, a truly unique person.

_I've heard there was a secret chord_

_That David played and it pleased the Lord_

_But you don't really care for music do you?_

_It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth_

_The minor fall, the major lift_

_The baffled King composing Hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, hallelujah_

Quistis adjusted her glasses over her nose as she scanned the results of the SeeD written examinations. As she suspected, many more than usual had passed. The cadets were getting smarter. The future of Garden and SeeD was promising indeed. She knew it was thanks to Squall and to Rinoa. Quistis narrowed her blue eyes at the thought of Rinoa. She wasn't jealous of the brunette anymore; in fact she encouraged their relationship. It was Squall who worries were about. Squall tested Rinoa over and over again, over trivial things, petty things, pointless things and things that didn't matter. It was obvious that Rinoa loved Squall and that Squall loved Rinoa. But Squall was afraid, afraid of loving Rinoa. Quistis felt guilty about it, but she blamed Laguna and Ellone. Squall had loved Ellone or 'Sis' as he had fondly called her. But Ellone had been taken away and he'd been left on his own. That was of course after his Mother had died when his Father hadn't been around. Quistis Trepe knew that circumstance had kept Laguna away from Raine's side, but she still wished he'd tried harder. Squall had been a wreck of a person when he'd first started at Garden. Quistis couldn't help but wryly think that even though he'd been a mess, she'd still believed herself to love him. She'd suffered jealousy for him as well only to find her feelings had meant nothing to him. Squall had stopped caring about others long before. That was of course until Rinoa had come along. With another bout of jealousy, Quistis had watched as Rinoa had changed Squall. Something that Quistis had often fancied doing herself. She'd imagined that she would change him and he would love her after she'd been gracious enough to show him it was safe to love her. 

Quistis blushed at the naivety of her thoughts and hurriedly shuffled the papers. As she paused a thought struck her. Her thoughts weren't really naïve, after all they had happened. It just hadn't been her that was the heroine. Rinoa Heartilly had stepped into her place in her own daydreams and made them a reality. Quistis still wasn't sure if was jealously feeling resentment or if she was relieved it wasn't her that Squall continually put through hell; the hell of indecisiveness and the hell of being kept at arms length. One day Squall would wake up and Rinoa would be held dear all day. The next day Squall would barely say boo to the woman. Rinoa endured it all with a smile, a warm beautiful smile that melted the ice around Squall's heart. Everyday she proved over and over to Squall that she could be trusted, that she would never leave him. Something Quistis herself had failed at, something Ellone had failed at and something his own parents had failed at. 

Rinoa had practically captivated Squall from day one, the dance. The perfect dance of the perfect loves, Quistis thought wryly. Rinoa was perfect for the aloof Leonhart with the lion sized pride. Rinoa captivated Squall with her beauty and her intellect and her strong will. Squall had been infatuated and then it had turned to love. That's where Squall stood now, in love with Rinoa Heartilly. Squall entranced Rinoa with his looks and his soft charm that only a few saw. Another thing Quistis had seen first, but never been acknowledged for. She saw the person Rinoa had brought out.

_Your faith was strong but you needed proof_

_You saw her bathing on the roof_

_Her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you_

_She tied you to a kitchen chair_

_She broke your throne, and she cut your hair_

_And from your lips she drew the hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, hallelujah_

Squall strode across the debris littered floor of the abandoned orphanage. He'd grown up here, grown up here alone and surrounded by people. His first memory was here and to him it seemed the root of all of his problems. It was here that Sis had left him alone. It was here he'd promised her distant figure he would be strong. He would be strong for her. 

Squall exited through the backdoor or what remained of it and walked across the dirt of the backyard. As he looked around, he could almost imagine the figures of younger selves as the romped across the dirt and down towards the beach. He looked across the ocean and into it's shimmery depths. A pang of loneliness struck him and he realized he hadn't felt it for a while.  He hadn't felt it at all whenever Rinoa was with him. 

Before he'd met Rinoa, he'd been so lonely he hadn't felt it. One day had merged into another. And another, and yet another day passed him by. For years he felt nothing, not self-satisfaction, no self-pride, no hate and no love. He'd had no desire to do anything. He'd become a slave to his own sense of duty. He'd taken the Code of Ethics that came with being a SeeD to heart and had cherished them. He'd lived by them and breathed them. But they had never filled the emptiness inside; they were just a reason for existing. That's all Squall had done, existed. He hadn't lived; he wasted his life needlessly. Quistis at one stage had given him a chance at love and he'd turned her down coldly. Seifer offered him competition and a world of pain and wounded pride. He had taken that path since childhood.

Now Squall realized, he was truly nothing with Rinoa. He loved her so damn much and needed her so much more. She'd become his pillar of strength and he didn't remember when he had started to lean on her. She loved him back; he knew that without uncertainty. He also knew she would never leave him. She'd proved it day in and day out. 

Squall breathed in the clean scent of the sea air and let it fill his lungs. He was a changed person, a changed person because of her. Rinoa Heartilly. 

As he headed back inside, he cast one more glance around the place and smiled. This had been his childhood home. Not a place where problems started, merely a place he'd grown up loved. He'd been loved, but he'd been to reclusive to notice. The thought almost made him laugh, how sad was he? To be reclusive before he hit double digits. He had been ungrateful of their attention and their love as he rejected it, but not anymore, he a life now, with a beautiful woman. He wasn't a child anymore; he was a man, a man in love.  

Squall had learnt that if he opened up to his desires and let his friends help him; life would be simpler. He was only alone because he chose to be alone. But now he chose to be with those he loved. 

_Maybe I've been here before_

_I know this room, I've walked this floor_

_I used to live alone before I knew you_

_I've seen your flag on the marble arch_

_Love is not a victory march_

_It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, hallelujah_

Seifer Almasy honestly believed with all of his heart that nothing was better than a good competition. The drive for a good competition had led him right into Sorceress Edea's lap. He'd fulfilled one of his childhood dreams. He'd become the Sorceresses Knight and at the time he hadn't realized it, but his dream had been ruined. Ruined by a greater force, another Sorceress from the future. Seifer had been glad it was Leonhart that had cut him free. He'd never admit it, but he owed him his life. Because it was his archrival that had cut him down to size, he could still retain a portion of his dignity and pride. He'd followed through with his dreams and he'd achieved more than the average human being by doing soon. Leonhart understood that, that's why he'd been Seifer's archrival after all. 

Seifer had a lot of respect for Squall because of his skills and what he was. But he hated him as a person. That fact made the competition between the two even more exciting. Seifer hated the person who could match his skills and it drove him to try harder and achieve more; even if it meant unorthodox manners. That didn't make Almasy a bad person; he was just not as fair as Leonhart. Two different kinds of right Seifer liked to think but not everyone shared his views. He admitted he did wrong by people, but he'd never meant to let it go so far. The Sorceress had allured him and pushed his boundaries. 

Rinoa had meant a lot to him, he'd been willing to kill for her. She hadn't asked him to, she was too pure and innocent to ask such a dirty thing. She was too good for Seifer and he knew that Squall needed her more than he did. But it still had hurt to admit to defeat to his archrival. 

Squall had been the one to come out the best and he'd kept his honour intact the whole time. Something Seifer couldn't achieve. 

_There was a time when you let me know_

_What's real and going on below_

_But now you never show it to me, do you?_

_And remember when I moved in you_

_The Holy Dark was moving too_

And every breath we drew was hallelujah 

_Hallelujah, hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, hallelujah_

Squall wrapped his arms around Rinoa and cradled her close. The warmth he felt when he was near her flooded through him and he pulled her even closer. He threaded his gloved fingers through her silken locks as he thought about how much he had missed her. Rinoa smiled up at him warmly and kissed his cheek gently. From the look in her soft brown eyes, Squall knew she'd missed him as well. Gently he grasped her chin in his hand and brought his mouth down on hers. Gently he kissed her and drew out the moment.

"I love you." He whispered for the first time when he'd pulled away. From the joy that shone on her face, Squall knew he'd done the right thing. 

_Maybe there's a God above_

_And all I ever learned from love_

_Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you_

_And it's not a cry you can hear at night_

_It's not somebody who's seen the light_

_It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, hallelujah_

_Hallelujah, hallelujah_


End file.
